Wednesday, January 6, 2016

The Helper

This is a huge subject but today I will scratch on the surface. Most women, especially in African countries will relate to this. How many of us are working mothers with helpers in our homes? Other women that we call maid, aunty or other names, who 'should' be at our beck and call and who run the home in our absence but should do it like they were us.

I have noticed that I expect my helper to anticipate my needs and that of my children! I expect her to follow my instructions without question even though sometimes I expect her to use her own discretion in making decisions on what to cook for supper on the days I get home late. I have often caught myself telling her conflicting instructions, like I would have said something earlier in the week and then when I change my mind I rarely notice or acknowledge and I just expect her to read my mind!

Although I have had maids since 2005 when I had my first baby, I only realised it now, ten years later as I began a journey on a different but crucial subject, Me as Helper to my husband. Boy am I amazed at the similarities to the requirements of my husband to those of me from my helper. How many times as a wife have you tried to anticipate the needs of your husband? What he would rather eat, when he would rather make love, which shirt he needs to be clean on a certain day and other acts of love? How many times do you obey without questioning especially in things that are harmless to you or the kids? Sometimes we just rebel against our husbands just for the sake of it. We feel like we do not want to be bossed around. I am not saying we should blindly follow when there is danger but just giving him his place as head of the family.

Today I challenge all working mothers and wives to watch how they treat their helper and how they respond to the husband's requests for help. I believe if we take our rightful place as helper to our husband, our own life and that of the family will improve in quality because then he will feel respected and appreciated.

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